Burma

Yes, we know the official name is Myanmar, as the sign above indicates. But we're old-fashioned. We also wouldn't be surprised if it changed its name back once the military there is out of power, like the mercifully short-lived Democratic Republic of Kampuchea, aka Cambodia.

If you're seeking an in-depth exploration of Burma here, you're wasting your time. This page is really about a Thai "visa run", a road trip from Phuket to Burma, just to cross a border and return. What a hassle for 15 more days in the Kingdom.

We made the mistake of not obtaining a visa before arriving here and were therefore granted 30 days, non-renewable. This seemed OK until the admiral decided to develop dental problems and the lure of cheap, high-quality care became a major reason to stay longer. So, what to do? Daisy Mae is not what Vera had in mind.

We had considered flying to Kuala Lumpur to get 30 days, but we waited too long and the flight got expensive. The road method cost 1/3 as much and we only needed 15 days anyway. The only snag was that the captain had to post a bond of B20,000 ($500) to get permission to leave Thailand for an hour, not to mention signing lots of paperwork that might have been a confession to child molesting for all he could tell. But, it seemed like an adventure, so we signed up.

What we got was a 12-hour ride in a van filled with 20-something eurotrashy types, plus a couple of Vietnamese the admiral was convinced were "working girls". To top it off was a middle-aged German guy who couldn't keep his eyes off the Vietnamese. His ego was crushed when they guessed his age to be 70 (he looked in his 50s to us), but romance may yet bloom, pending negotiations of the financial variety. The Vietnamese "girls" were extremely interested in Vera's passport to the extent of leering right over her shoulder an inch from the visa stamp. Not a way to make friends.

This is beautiful downtown Ranong. Most traffic here is done by longtails. All the ones we saw here are powered by 10HP engines like you'd find in a lawn tractor. The stench from the 'water toilets' was all encompassing.

The name says it all. We huddled masses from the first-world were packed into a narrow diesel-powered skiff that seemed to want to capsize anytime someone shifted in their seat. John's knee is part of the artistic milieu.

Beautiful downtown Kaw Thuang - definitely back in the third world.

The regime here has kept the country poor and very isolated and its citizens seem to spend much of their time street hustling or scheming on how to get into Thailand. As we made our 5 minute visit to this interesting land they would not leave us alone. They made the hawkers of Phuket or Bali seem low-key. Fortunately, the admiral had returned to the safety of the boat and taken the capt's wallet, so he couldn't be fleeced. Burmese rubies anyone?

Back in Thailand, we are greeted by a kind of Buddhist Statue of Liberty.

At the base of the statue were these guys, whose main job seems to be to keep Burmese from sneaking in. The nice man on the calendar is Thailand's king, whose picture can be seen everywhere. The only item lacking is an AK 47.

Beauty is often found amidst squalor in these parts. When they passed this image the boat crew all got on their knees and bowed.

Here's the goal, a rubber stamp with another 15 days in paradise. It takes all day and costs $50, but for many, including us, it's worth it. However, it's not an adventure we want to repeat - once is enough on the Visa Express.

As we warned at the beginning, this was not a detailed exploration of a mysterious land, just a description of the hassles one has to go through to stay beyond the normal time allowed. But then we're not tourists, we're boat people.

Click here to return to Thailand.

Home