Thailand Part 1

The first overnight stop was only 25 miles from Langkawi and would have been easy but for the first of many huge thunderstorms we encountered. We were a little concerned that since we had not been checked in that we'd get hassled by the authorities. The Capt had a spiel worked up about being unable to navigate in zero visibility, but nobody cared. Here we see a less than stealthy Thai Navy ship anchored next door. If it looks jiggly it's because it was dawn and the camera exposure was about a second.

The admiral insisted on the picture. The Capt thinks it's because he looks even fatter than the last pork-shot decreed by higher-ups. He's wincing because he's trying to suck his stomach behind his back.

It may appear that the Capt is trying to raise the mainsail, but that never happened during our entire time on the West Coast of Malaysia or Thailand. Maybe it can happen during the stronger NE monsoon months...

This is just a cute, stonehenge-like group of islands. The rocks here are limestone, but have been carved into a wide variety of shapes and resemble in miniature the volcanic islands of French Polynesia.

This is Ko Phi Phi Don, our intro to the Phuket tourist industry. We understand this was a fishing village before the 2004 tsunami created an opportunity for urban renewal. Now it's filled with day-tripper boats from Phuket, which is just a few miles away. The spectacular rock formations reminded us of Virgin Bay in the Marquesas .

This is a classic Thai "longtail". They are powered by just about anything that will bolt to the very long shaft. This one looks like a small car engine. They usually have no mufflers, which means most harbors sound like drag-strips.

Speaking of harbors, this is our first, at Chalong Bay. Yachties love this place.

Speaking of love, here we see one of the celebrated "bar girls" of Phuket, reading a newspaper. Lonely? In need of female (or male) companionship? It's available here daily, weekly or monthly, just like the room advertised above. We're told a monthly contract runs about $400, with full benefits, room not included. Phuket is crawling with white guys holding hands with rent-a-chicks. The other industry here is eating, where meals are typically less than $3 and excellent quality. All your dreams come true here, provided your money holds out. And your health. Be forewarned ye party animals, greater than 50% of the "girls" carry HIV and those stats were taken in 1991.

Overlooking all this carnality is a giant Buddha. He wisely has his back turned to Patong, where depravity is a 24-hour business.

But Patong is not all depravity, there's great shopping, too! Topping it all is a Carrefour grocery store, a French chain with all trimmings. Oh, the boat you see is not a relic of the tsunami, which did cause massive damage here, but just some kitschy decor borrowed from Las Vegas.

Even the vegetable & fish market is first-world. This is not a grocery store, it's an open-air, municipal fruit, fish and meat market. The quality is excellent. Whole Foods , eat your heart out!

Lotsa dead fish. What's amazing here is no flies - none! We're not sure how this is possible, but perhaps the place is that clean.

This fresh fish extravaganza rivals the famous Seattle ichthoid market. and once again, no flying friends!

How about a whopping bowl of writhing snakes. Tried to pretend they were eels, but alas, the Thai shopper nearby said no, They ARE snakes. This market reverberates with all sorts of marine critters still flopping about their tiny enclosures.

Chicken anyone? These small delicacies were just recently pecking 'round the farmyard'. Its enough to make one a Vegetarian.

Few people "back home" remember ice delivery prior to our modern conveniences. Check out the motor bike with heaps of chill for your drinks! These side-car delivery bikes are very common. The petite lady soldiered past John with her daily burden of eggs, dried fish, squid and assorted staples.

This side-car is a mobile BBQ, complete with awning. Oh, if you look just behind him you see a white guy in swim trunks, the same guy seen in the other picture above. Who could it be? Spooky...

Yes, true love, Thai-style. Most of the time the guys are twice as old as the girls. Note the menu of massages. The romance, however fleeting, costs extra. The suicide rate here is quite high among expats. Once the money runs out, so does the honey.

The enemy. Way too much testosterone, way too little brains. To call them jerks is to insult the jerks of the world. We just use a term we read once: water lice. They think boats are pylons provided for their entertainment.

This pylon proved very entertaining. The tourista that embedded his jet ski in the side of this catamaran swam away, returning to Finland the next day. We don't think the owner of the boat knows what happened yet...

We had always planned to visit the famed Similan Islands, about 50nm NW of Phuket, renowned for their clear water and abundant fish life. But as we know, life is often like a box of chocolates and in this case we arrived there only to hurt both our backs picking up a mooring line. So much for diving. The islands are made of granite, often in the shape of huge boulders. If you look closely at "Sail Rock" you'll see ant-like touristas at its base.

You're probably not supposed to feed the wildlife, but the admiral just had to throw lettuce at the numerous large turtles that dropped by. They're among our favorite marine critters, being both interesting and harmless. The Similans are a National Park and hence fishing is prohibited. We're spoiled when it comes to coral, but the clarity and sheer numbers of fish are impressive.

While we were in the Similans, recovering from our back injuries, we had huge thunderstorms every night and some nasty swell that made sleep impossible. We therefore retreated back to Phuket Island and its more sheltered anchorages.

This is back at Phuket Island, Bang Tao Bay. This is the site for numerous high-dollar resorts, where villas can run $8000/night. We can't afford such digs, given that we're burdened with a boat. This idyllic shot of the dinghy on the beach is misleading. The beach is actually very steep and rough. We had to leave a few minutes after this was taken as the dinghy was getting swamped by the waves. They surf this beach during the summer.

Ao Bang Tao is nice, but there's not much to do, so we returned to Patong. Meanwhile, the admiral developed an abscessed tooth, which required an emergency visit to Phuket Town for treatment. The entire hospital bill was $15, x-rays and all. This included seeing a periodontist and excision of the abscess. She was fabulous. I had to ask, "Are you really the dentist?", that's how nice she was.

While waiting for dental miracles and visa extensions we visited a Buddhist Temple, Wat Chalong.

Since we said this is Wat Chalong, the pictures justify themselves as far as architecture is concerned. Yes, that's the lovely admiral in the foreground.

The temple complex was built to commemorate a rebellion by the Thais against Chinese tin-miners who took over Phuket in the late 19th Century. Thailand is not namby-pamby about illegal immigrants like some countries we know.

Theravada Buddhism was an academic and spiritual interest of many during the 1960's youth revolution. The essence of this Eastern Scripture still pervades and astonishingly blends with present philosophy of life.

The Buddha depicted near the center is protected by Mucalinda, a Naga or snake-like being with 7 or 9 heads, who protects the Buddha from the elements. The Naga is also commonly found on balustrades and is a power behind the force of water.

The other thing we had to do while waiting was renew our permission to stay in Thailand. In order to do that we had to leave the country and return. Join us as we go to Burma for all of 10 minutes.

No, these are not ninja bikers, but two women wearing niqabs. Not every woman in Phuket is a floozy, but this seems a bit too far in the other direction.

Our visit to the "Land of Smiles" was disrupted when the admiral's smile broke down and required surgery. To make the hospital visits more convenient we checked into Boat Lagoon Marina, which is sort of the Roach Motel of marinas, or maybe Marina California. The point is, the entrance is very, very shallow and even at high tide we were plowing deep furrows through the mud. We weren't sure how we'd ever escape, but were helped by the spring tides of the full moon.

After our brush with becoming permanent residents of Phuket we tried a few anchorages at other islands nearby, but had problems with pushy fisherman or just awful rolly conditions. On top of the rolling is the fact that any place that's halfway interesting will be filled with so-called "tripper" boats - very fast boats with up to 1000HP that take day trippers to what used to be out-of-the-way places. These boats have 2 speeds: idle and full. This might be fun for the touristas but is dangerous if you're in the water. So, back to Ao Chalong, the Tar Pit Harbor of Phuket.

Part of our interest in staying away from Phuket was we didn't want to be there for Songkran, a time when Thais get drunk and hose each other down. It's probably fun if you're under 10 and like shooting each other with Super-Soaker squirt guns, but oldsters such as ourselves don't like games we can't outrun. As it turned out, we escaped getting wet, but the 3-day holiday became waiting period as we had to depart Thailand the next day.

And we did, moving rather quickly back to Langkawi and some we-desired air-conditioning. Part of the reason for the Thai ritual of hosing is that it's hot in a way that has to be experienced to be believed, when the inside of the boat is 100F and the humidity is in the 100s as well. Think "Apocalypse Now".

This is Tarutao Island, just north of Langkawi. It used to be the Devil's Island of Thailand, where political prisoners were kept amidst hundreds of crocodiles. Now it's a National Park. We have been here a couple of times now, but have never gone ashore, mostly because we we're in transit and don't want to be busted as illegal aliens. Thailand is one of the last places you want to go to jail.

Since this visit we have returned to Phuket twice, once in a plane and again in the boat. Speaking of which let's see more of the Phuket area, which we'll simply call Thailand Part 2.

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